A Sure Thing

There are a few things in life that I can say are sure things, like how I will always forget to fill my gas tank on Sunday night, which means I will be late to work on Monday. Or, the fact that I will get at least one creepy message on my Match account. I keep telling myself that one of these things I can control because it’s a sure thing, and the other isn’t going to change anytime soon, because there are way too many creeps out there.
One Monday morning as I was driving to work I began an Audible book by Jana Aston. I had read Wrong by her a few years back and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I decided to give Sure Thing a chance. It was after all, going to be an extra long commute as it was “raining” in San Diego, and well, we are idiots who don’t know how to deal with any kind of weather. Like anything other than 72 degrees, makes us panic. If it’s too hot we panic, if it’s too cold we bitch. But God help us all if it rains. We legitimately turn into accident prone idiots. Every single one of us. If the rain wasn’t enough to make me unhappy, my nearly empty gas tank did it. I was officially unhappy.
But after the Audible intro the book began, Andries appeared my day was looking up. I suddenly didn’t care about the length of the drive because I was laughing my ass off. I rewound the book and truly enjoyed the first few lines again. “I can do this, Daisy does it. She does it all the time, I mean I don’t want to insinuate that my sister is the slutty one. But… she’s the slutty one.” The book is about Violet who loses her job and boyfriend and apartment within the same day. With her dwindling bank account, Violet has no choice but to take up her twin sister when she suggests she fill in for her at her work for the week, and that is how Violet finds herself being Daisy for a week long adventure. And if this isn’t enough of a fun twist, Jana Aston threw in a British guy, and what girl doesn’t love a hot British guy?
I finally made it to work with a full tank of gas, and a smile on my face. Over the next few gray days, the only thing keeping a smile on my face was looking forward to hearing more about Violet and her hunky British guy with a sexy name to match. Jennings was a complete gentleman who talked dirty at the right time and knew when to stop while he was ahead. Unlike “Jonathan” who decided to message me on Match. Now, let me begin by saying that it had been a long rainy week, and I was looking forward to my cozy night in.
The following conversation began innocently, throwing me for a loop with how quickly it turned.
Jonathan: Hi!
Me: Welcome back Jeff!
J: HAHA, did we match before?
M: Yes, but I got like 6 messages that you were “banned for suspicious activity.”
J: I actually just deleted my profile. I guess they consider that suspicious.
Me: Well, clearly you pissed them off, why else did they inform me so many times? Haha.
J; IDK, but I needed to get off, too many girls playing games.
Me: I can see that. I just got a good laugh and wondered what “suspicious behavior” entailed.
J: Or why they have to ban someone 6 times, and then allow them to come back. Looks like a glitch to me.
Me: I guess, but it was like they were building up their badassery.
J: Hahaha, thanks I appreciate that.
J: That’s a good way to look at it.
Me: x6, but I guess I’ve been warned right.
****NOW I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED, BUT IT WAS LATE AND HIS GRAMMAR, AND PUNCTUATION WAS ON POINT. ***
J: Oh dear, sounds like you’re a naughty girl!
Me: Nope, just have a big imagination.
J: I love a girl with a big imagination. I find it goes well with my BIG imagination. It’s getting late, I’d love to use our imaginations late into the night. Here’s my number, lets make this happen. (555)555-5555.
So, I get that I used words like badassery, and imagination, but I just cannot get over the fact that this guy didn’t even know my name. He literally took 4 minutes before he decided that we needed to talk about his “big imagination”. How is this ok? I mean, I guess I had the warning signs, but I too have needed time away from dating apps and have deleted them, only to come back to them months later, so I don’t know what it shows guys when we have been matched. But at least I learned something, don’t use the word imagination or badassery, because if you do, the guy will assume you are a sure thing.
So do yourself a favor, take a break from the creeps online and read a great book. One that I assure you will have you laughing, and swooning, for a guy who has perfected the art of flirting without being a complete creepy ass douche.

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The Right Kind of Creep…

Sometimes bad books happen to good readers, and for me this had been the trend for some time. My kindle was quickly being filled with awful book after awful book. I was in a funk, and couldn’t seem to get out of it. Luckily for me, Christmas came early in the form of a fantastic book by newcomer Sally Thorne. I stumbled across The Hating Game simply because I was super behind on my Christmas shopping and found myself easily distracted by a book suggestion.

Honestly, neither the title nor the cover art pulled me in too much, but I found myself clicking to read the synopsis. I didn’t want to read too much in case I did purchase the book. Upon seeing the $7.99 price tag, I was almost deterred, because I read so many books and this book was exceptionally high. I was about to leave the page, when I remembered that I had some digital credits and would end up paying only $4.99. The universe was trying to tell me something, I knew it, so I one-clicked it. As I hit purchase I sent up a silent prayer to the book gods and hoped I wouldn’t regret my midnight purchase.

Over the following days as my Amazon packages began to appear, I remembered that I had purchased this book, and decided to start reading it during lunch. Not only was I late getting back to work, but I was also late to work the following morning because I had stayed up way past my bedtime reading. Sally Thorne had intended this to be a short story for a friend, but somehow found herself with a fantastic full-length novel. Before she began writing she asked said friend to give her one word that she would use as inspiration. Nemesis was that word. The title is a clever play on the word nemesis.

Lucy Hutton is a cute pushover who works with her arch nemesis Joshua Templeman in extremely close quarters. At first, some of the interactions between Lucy and Joshua seem a bit weird almost creepy. The truth is the reader isn’t intended to like much less love Joshua. I know I wasn’t fond of him. But as I continued to read I not only began to like him, I quickly fell in love with him as much as I loved Lucy. His “creepiness” wasn’t creepy, it was a relationship built over time, a relationship that was for much of the time one sided. Then turned into a beautiful kind of truce between two nemeses.

Now let’s talk about the other kind of creep, the bad kind of creep. A few weeks ago my friend Valerie received a Facebook message from a man she had never seen and didn’t know. The message was, “Hi, I know this may seem creepy, but I’m just very good at figuring things out. I always see you at the parking deck and I know most people that park here typically work at the Chase building so what I did was Instagram searched Chase and literally your picture popped up with some of your friends or coworkers, like the first pictures literally. So I clicked the picture and your Instagram name showed up and this is how I found your name (God I know this looks so bad smh), but I just really want to talk to you because you are a dope looking lady. Anyway, so I searched your name on Facebook and “again” your profile was the first one to show up; so I just want you to know that I’m not a stalker I’m just smart and I piece things together extremely well, and that is how I found you. So sorry if this weirds you out, in 2016, I know people are so paranoid about everything but I hope you understand that I simply took a chance on making myself look bad just to be able to possibly contact you, (aside from leaving a note on your car). You know the saying “no risk, no reward” I hope you reply to this and not “block” me for taking a shot in the dark.”  (Picture Below)

Now, when my friend Valerie sent this to me I reread it at least 3 times before I could even respond to her text message. “Dafaq?” was literally the only thing that came to mind. Because seriously, in what universe would a man think that a woman would look at this message and not think it was creepy. I mean, not only did he look her up on Instagram, he decided to dig deeper until he found her on Facebook and wrote to her. She didn’t reply to him, and I encouraged her not to. Something about the fact that he was not only watching her at work, but proceeded to creep on the internet for more information scared the crap out of me. She agreed with me that the whole situation made her feel very uncomfortable. I was wondering if I was being paranoid, so we decided to ask other people their thoughts.

After a few days the vote was not unanimous (insert my shock here), it was ultimately agreed that yes, this was in fact more creepy than flattering. However, one of the people who didn’t think it was creepy asked a question that stunned me. She asked, “Well is he good looking?” I stopped and thought about this for some time and wondered why the in the hell that mattered? Would it be ok if the guy looked more “boy next door”? Because the truth was I couldn’t look past the fact that this guy’s actions were slightly terrifying. His intentions were unclear, we honestly didn’t know what his reaction would be when she didn’t reply. We didn’t know if he would approach her and tell her that he was the one who had messaged her and question her as to why she hadn’t replied.

So back to The Hating Game, at the beginning, Joshua Templeman’s character did not give me all the warm fuzzy feelings that I am used to getting when reading a romance. But I think the hilarious dynamic between these two is why I loved Joshua Templeman and this book so much! Before I give away any spoilers, I will just say that this book was by far one of my favorite books of 2016 and dare I say it, one of my favorite books of all time. So do yourself a favor and look past the price tag, and one-click this bad boy. I promise you won’t regret it.