I’m out of control. The first step of a problem, is admitting you have a problem. Right? I mean that’s it, I’m done. Good. Thanks, I’m glad this was so easy. I feel ten times better. (smile… eye twitch) Damn it, that’s a lie. Okay, lets go back to the beginning. I have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it.
You see, this obsession began years ago. I should say it began shelves of books ago, I remember hating reading as a kid and always thought it was stupid. I guess I hadn’t figured out that if you are bored while reading, you’re not doing it right. So, back to my problem. I read. Like all the time. Like every chance I get. To the point that the only way that I can control how much I read, was by setting a monthly spending limit. But it didn’t work. So I’ve had to resort to buying myself a gift card, and not allowing myself to spend more than that. Sad, I know. Some people buy drugs, other drink and party, me… well I read. What can I say, I’m a party animal.
So now that you know what my problem is, let me tell you about my latest predicament. Colleen Hoover, writer extraordinaire had a book released last week, March 18th to be exact. This book had been on my radar since I went to a geeky book signing, where she told us about it, and I got all giddy, like a school girl. (Stop judging me). All I knew was the title of the book Maybe Someday. After that day, I began stalking Amazon, her website, Goodreads, and even her Facebook page. Yup, stalker status techie version.
So when I received a 3am email from Amazon, informing me that her book had a release date, and could be pre-ordered, guess what I did? I got up grabbed my reading glasses did a little dance and then pre-ordered the book. Then I went back to sleep, with a smile on my face. I was almost out of money on my gift card, but didn’t think anything as I went through book after book waiting for the release I had been waiting on for over a year. Then the night before the book was to be released, I logged onto my Facebook and sure enough Colleen had posted about her book going “Live”. I though “eh it’s only 11pm, I can go to sleep and wake up early and read.” That was the plan, then I made the mistake of clicking on comments where people from the West Coast were saying that they already had it, and I opened my Kindle and it wasn’t there. After hitting sync about 10 times I logged onto my account and it hadn’t downloaded, because I didn’t have enough funds on my gift cards. You’re probably thinking “Big deal, put more money on your card.” I couldn’t. I would like to say that it was all my willpower that didn’t allow me to get more funds. Sadly that wasn’t the case.
I literally couldn’t buy more funds. You see, I was one of the millions affected by the Target hack and my debit card was no longer working, it was at 11pm when I realized Amazon’s policy doesn’t allow you to used a check/account to buy ebooks. So after trying a few times, I called customer service, and you know what “Kevin” on the other line suggested? He suggested I go to the supermarket and use one of my checks and buy a gift card . So after laughing and saying that their policy doesn’t make sense, and told him that going to the supermarket at 11pm wasn’t an option, I did something I’m not proud of (head down in shame). I logged onto my sister’s account and “Gifted myself” the book. She wouldn’t care. I swear, and I planned on telling her, but it was 11:30pm and she was sleeping. I decided then and there that I needed the book and would tell her in the am.
It was days later that I remembered to confess to my sister that I had not only logged on to her account, and borrowed some money from her, with no attention to pay her back. She laughed about it and then said I needed an intervention. She changed her password that night. “Dude, I’m your enabler. I’m only doing it to help you get a life.” Bitch. Then I guess she felt bad cause the next day she changed her password back and sent me and I’m sorry gift card.
I tell you what, it was worth it. I mean the book Fan-Flipping-tastic, turns out I didn’t fall asleep early that night, or the following. It took me all of 1.5 days to finish the book. And all I have to say, is that it was worth the nightmare that I had to go through to read it. Plus, I got $25 Gift card from my sister and my free book. SCORE! I took it all as a positive sign, one in where the universe is telling me that I should be reading. Yay. Problem solved!