I feel the need to start by introducing my current relationship situation, and myself or lack there of for that matter. I recently just turned 30, and am single. My bff, “Valerie” is also single and she took the initiative to get herself and me in tow, onto the site we call Tinder. Since this adventure is too good not to share, I thought you all deserve a moment of humor, at my expense. You’re welcome!

1. People who aren’t single, and haven’t been single in years, should get no say as to why I am still single. You just don’t get it unless you are single. Period. End of story, move on, next topic, how about them Padres?
2. Now, lets get a few things clear. One, I know that Tinder is mainly used to “hook-up” and no, I am not, nor have I ever been that kind of girl. There has to be at least one decent guy on this site right?
3. There are a lot of “single” men out there. But dating a douche bag isn’t particularly high on my list.
4. Here are some pointers, because lets face it, you don’t want to appear to be a douche (even if you are one), hide that shit until you at least get to date #2.
   1. No bathroom mirror selfies- you look like a 13 year old girl
   2. No bathroom mirror selfies, with your shirt off. “Oh, you have a 6-pack.” I don’t give a rat’s ass, put a damn shirt on!
   3. If every picture you have on your profile is you with some girl (who isn’t family), I’m left Swiping. I don’t care how hot/ funny you seem.
   4. No man, (except David Beckham) looks good in a Speedo, unless you are in Spain, then it’s free for all. Just don’t post those pictures on your profile.

So far here is what the universe has to offer me…. They say pictures are worth a thousand words so here are a few thousand words.

Stay tuned, as this Tinder adventure has only just begun.